Men Vs. Women

  So think i figured out something new in the last couple of days. In order to survive in the military you have to become two different people. Mostly because I am married if your were single and planed on staying that way go ahead and just become a huge fucking asshole. Should work out great for ya. When i say two different people though i mean that you have two different demeanor about you. One is a Strong Leader, which consists of making decision on your own and telling some people to fuck off. As well as being an asshole most of the time. You have to be firm and fair and that doesn't include ever being nice. The half has to be what the other half of you lacks. Also patient, caring, and generally not an ass. I was once very romantic and a total lush, after joining the military and going threw boot camp it hardened me up a bit and i was pretty much a real ass hat all the time. Being out here has given me a lot of time to think about all of this. That i need to be come more of an ass at work because well that's how people survive in the military by telling others what to do. When I go home at the end of the day i need to let that go and change it around a little. Not that i need to be a big puss and get told what to do all day, just enough that we are working together to make decision together because most of them are going to involve both of us. Relativily short post today.

As men should we let the women run the house because that is there domain and Men run the workspace? Is this a conflicting idea with women that work in the military and some men being stay at homes? How does all of this work? Is this why shit is so fucking fucked up now a days? Know one knows what the fuck to do because you can do anything, Literally fucking anything. Family doesn't decide anything anymore nor does gender. As gender used to have a HUGE deciding factor on what you did with you life for more time then it hasn't. Right?

English as a 2nd Language

  Oh My God! I grew up in Cali and I have had to deal with a lot of Spanish speaking people in my life. I was always irritating to talk to them because English was there second language and they always mess stuff up. I used to always kinda let those things slide because i only had to deal with them in small doses. Now that i have to work with someone were Spanish is not there first but English is definitely there second language, it drives me crazy. Instead of asking "Do you know where this is?" they ask something along the lines of "Do you know where this ain't?" They get much much worse then that but i can't come up with the stupid stuff that come out of his mouth. OOOOOH MAN and when he tries to talk to us and give little motivational speeches he just ends up irritating the crap out of me. Saying "You understand" over and over again. That is all fine and dandy when you are talking to a bunch of recruits. They are supposed to be treated like little kids because you are nothing in boot camp getting molded into something. I'm a grown ass man, I don't need you double checking my understanding every fucking 5 seconds. Just say what the fuck you need to say and then maybe, if you think you didn't get your point across because of the language barriers that you face in English. Just ask one of us to summarize it back to you. Its very simple, that also proves that we got the message whether you have trouble conveying a point or not. As a fucking leader too, he sucks. To be a leader is too lead. He constantly asks stupid questions of the people directly above him. Why don't you just come up with your own ideas and put them in place. OR here is a genius fucking idea, ask the people below you for ideas, and then implement what you think will work best based on your experience. If i was the person that he constantly went to to ask questions i would lose my mind and tell him to fuck off. Especially for the stupid stuff that he asks questions about. Sgt. approaches GySgt. in front of me and asked him a question about something I ALREADY DO! So i spoke up and explained what i had been doing the whole time. GySgt. just pointed at me and went back to work, and the Sgt. just walked away. What a waist of time that could have been simply solved by being aware of your surroundings. With that he could have talked to the SSgt. as well, he knew what was going on. Have you ever had a problem with a boss that just does stupid shit all day? I don't even mean like makes you do stuff stupid... but like really stupid like he is retarded. Maybe even someone who is just over you and kinda supervises your work.

 When i raised my hand to come out to this desert land i figured it wouldn't be all that hard to accomplish. 6 months i thought, 'I got this!' In fact it hasn't terrible but i am definitely starting to miss things that are starting to weigh on my shoulders. I am definitely a very easy person to please ill eat just about anything and treat it like it was my favorite food. I can hang with just about anyone and have a good time. Till now i have never really faced such displeasure in my current situation. Don't get me wrong i am actually glad i am out here because it is really going to help me with my career and the experience is something that nothing in the world can compare too. The one thing i have always wanted in my life is a family and being out here is putting a kink in that want. Not a super tight one as once i get back i will be able to just take it out of my life stream. It is currently holding up the process that was flowing pretty well. As well as the whole 'family' perspective being on hold right now, so are the things you have to do to start the family... if you know what i mean. That has been very tough as well. When my mind is left to wonder like 95% of the time i start thinking about my wife back home and wonder what she is up too. If she is doing okay. I get to talk to her quite a bit and even though she laughs and we have fun on the phone and she seems happy, is she? I know she had a hard time when i left and i think that is mostly because she really didn't have a whole lot going. Now she is busy busy and keeping herself moving around which is definitely helping her keep active and her mind off of things I'm sure. With that I'm working nights now so i am less busy and i have way to much time to think. Pretty much why i wanted to start this blog to talk about all this shit I think about when I sit around doing a whole lot of nothing. I really wanted to ask a lot of questions too.. but i really don't know what to ask. Some of my posts have questions in them. I guess i was hoping for more comments as well to help drive my blog a little as i could answer things that people commented on. Anyone who reads this ever been though a similar situation? Spending an extended time away from family? How did you feel about it? How crazy did it drive you to think about your family back home?

Night Rider/Sitter

  Night shift... what more do i  have to say. I really hate it when people come up to me last minuet asking for shit to get done. When i tell them that i may not be able to do it they get all mad and upset. Hey, brother news flash its fucking night time. Probably would have been a better idea to come in during the day and ask all these stupid questions. What is even worse is that he asked me if i knew how to do something and i told him that i would find out. I then go and ask only to come back to him doing it already... WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK ME FOR THEN!!! UH even worse is that they come to my shop and just move stuff around like its all there stuff. Even though he was a Hooah Staff Sergent i about chewed him the fuck out. After all is said and done he somehow finds time to stop and make jokes, "Hey, could i smoke in here?" No motherfucker you may not smoke in my shop bitch G T F O. To further this rant i really don't like the higher ups that are around me. Some of them are cool but a lot of them are really stupid i think, or they just have poor leadership skills in my opinion. The current leadership over me is mostly a tell You and then supervise or just go get on a computer and do personal stuff. Unless i have something more pressing at my level that needs to be done, then i will be out there helping as well U don't mean just like a little bit either like legit helping. I prefer to lead by example because work gets done faster as ell as you are always training those under you to be leaders as well. Kinda to note an older post about work to simply do instead of resisting when it wouldn't be that hard to just get it done. I found out when i was younger that it is much more motivating to have a higher up/leader right there working with you then just barking orders at you. Another reason why John Basalon is someone i really look up too. A true leader and a man of action!

Lone Wolf of Confidence

 What is up with the world today? Why are people not confident in there actions? Or are they but just too lazy to do anything when they think that things may possibly not be accomplished. We had to throw up a tent the other day. Three of us standing around looking at it, two saying that we needed more people to put it up. I'm sitting here clearly the least strength out of the group. Trying to tell them that we should just do it. One walked away and I was just like lets do this and started to pick it up. The other that stayed was like I guess we could try. Not even 5 min. later it was up and ready  to go with just the two of us. I really don't think that it is a lack of confidence because they were much stronger then i was. That's how it comes off to me though. It really just comes down to being really lazy. They think that because they are Radio Operators that its not there job to help set up tents. If your not operating a radio then you aren't doing anything and you need to help out. I am a tech and fix shit as well as write up all the paperwork for said gear I work on. Ever sense the Cataclysm i have had lots of stuff that i needed to do. Some things came before that though, hence why I'm out there helping set up buildings. Why are people so fucking selfish and lazy? One of those two is a fucking gym nut. He fucking loses his mind if he cant get some gym time in. God for fucking bid you have him move some stuff around in a box. I do some gym to but i like getting out and working and you know what doing that i get my workout in. I don't get that super isolation strength building, but honestly i don't like only doing that. You leave out so much when you only do said workouts. Muscles are super dynamic and straight strength makes you strong as fuck but it kills your endurance. You start to get winded easily and... well lazy. Maybe i answered my own question right there. You can almost look at peoples workout habits and tell a large portion of there personalty. I wish people world just stop being so fucking lazy and just do work. If no one does anything nothing gets done. If we all help each other get work done things would get done a bit faster and things would be a lot better because we would have extra time to fix things up and improve the system that we have in place currently. History show this time and time again a group of people working hard and doing a bit of everything being more successful. I personally like being way more self sufficient. I am a Lone Wolf!

Love, True Love

 Just want to start this one off saying that I started this blog to put everything i think about online in the form of thoughts. If you care, read it. If you don't care, don't read it. I could give two shits. If you care enough to read it but hate it, go ahead and say so. Please don't troll my shit like a annoying little fucking five year old though. I want to put my thoughts online and see what people have to say about it. I get a lot of time in my currently placement to just sit and think a lot. So my posts will be random but i try to keep them on topic... for the most part.

 Love is a crazy thing man. What will it make a person do? I think that it doesn't portray enough to say that people will bend over backwards for love. People change for love. That is a lot and i don't think people realize that. People don't change for much else. Some do but most do not change for anything ever.. but then they fall in love. Everything changes at that point in time. You become more than yourself. You no longer try to please just yourself but also another. This is a very tricky task because you don't know everything about a person like ever. You may think you know everything and then you get married and BAM! something new comes flying at you. The trick to this is to now the person well enough and for them to know you well enough that you can see these things coming. You should never ask your wife something you know she will say no too, it will only show that you don't know her and that you don't respect the way she eels about things. This is a very important thing to figure out very early in a relationship. That way you now the long term of the relationship better. The key I have found is Trust! This is literally the most important thing in the world of love and relationships. If you cant trust someone why continue? OH and please for the love of GOD do not marry them. It is very annoying to talk to a couple and hear them talk about not trusting each other or the husband at work all the time talk about not trusting the wife. This is very irritating! WHY DID YOU FUCKING MARRY HER THEN! For instance I know a person who married a girl that cheated on him early in there relationship. If you can get past that then that is fine but he did not. He has stated that he could never trust her again. You know what happened shortly after moving in together, she started opening Credit Cards in his name. Now that is some shady shit my friend. We were talking once too and he was all serious and talked about how if she ever cheated on him again he would burn all of her cloths or something... its probably going to happen. She did it once... ON YOU!!! it will happen again. With that i don't understand why he would be so mad, it should almost be expected now. With me trust is not an issue with my spouse. Granted ya i have those moments were there is a little bit of jealousy , but i quickly remember who she married and who she put her trust in. I almost don't even think of it as trust at this point its literally two becoming one. Like we share a beating heart we experience all the same things together, even when we are worlds apart. I have gotten messages about news she found out and pass on to me that instantly make me cry. As soon as i read it i know exactly how she felt when she found out the news. These things tell me that we understand eachother, granted we are still young so there is much more to learn.

Good and Evil

  Being out here is rough but it is even rougher to not be with my family. Time just seems to pass as it goes. The fact that there is no actual cohesion amongst the whole group makes it really hard to work together. Everyone is split into their different MOS's doing their own thing. Everyone also thinks that because certain things aren’t there job that they shouldn’t have to do them. Out here I have the same perception that I had in boot camp. I expected a group of grown men instead I am still stuck with a load of 5 year olds. At what point do people start to grow up? Why are people so full of themselves all the time? Was there ever a point in time when people didn’t feel so entitled and they simply did because they were asked to do something? I think this is why the military is starting to fall apart. We are starting to relay on other people instead of ourselves. We should be able to find people that want to fill these positions and fill them accordingly. If you can’t find people willing to do the work then you will have to find the ones who need the extra work to help build the comerodery. Granted at this time we don’t really all have a common enemy. American is trying so hard to be on everyone’s side. Stand strong and murder those who oppose us is how it should be. Nice guys always finish last... always. Can’t be a nice guy anymore have to start being an asshole, without being terrible of course.

  As a leader being an asshole isn’t all bad. of course you don’t want to piss people off but our want to give them something to hate together. Mankind at its core has to hate something or someone all together. In that they have a way to release how they feel together in a passionate way and can fight together. As a Lance amongst other Lances it’s hard to be the hated one and make it count, when I get back it will be easier to accomplish that task though. I have always been the lone wolf. I hate everyone! It’s Strange because with that exact thought in mind I always find something to like in everyone. Where does that come from, should I express those hates in forms of critics to let people know what I think they should do to improve themselves and be better people. Who am I to say that though? Can I really read a person in that way? Is my advice for the better of am I just trying to make more little me's. Is this the true reason behind why I want kids so bad and that I want to be a drill instructor? Is this the true reason behind why I want kids so bad and that I want to start pushing my attitude off on others and in my eyes build a better world one being at a time. Is this a healthy way to think? I mean Hitler had to have thought in a similar fashion. I don’t want people to die... but some will.... that’s just how the world works, right?

  In order for good to prevail evil has to die. Without evil there can’t be good. without the opposite of something the thing cannot exist. With this new idea, should I then be evil so that I may create well. Many will oppose me and when they do they become good. Do those who join me then also want to create good as well or are they just simply evil or are they good but just on a different team. Is there really such thing as good and evil? If both sides can be good and evil at the same time then everyone should be neutral. Good and Evil simply becomes a tool to recruit people to our side of any fight. Once on your side they will then do and speak the same. The Marine Corps teaches the good in everyone, does it ever make us evil though, do the Marine Corps teach us what to hate? Or do we come preprogrammed to what is Good and Evil? Say we are preprogrammed who programs us to lie or hate certain things? What makes people sometimes very passionate? Is religion the heart of this process and does it poison people or does it indeed better them? Does good and evil then exist and because it does we are doomed? Everyone has to hate something, now a day’s do we just choose to hate each other? Has this always been an issue? Is this the fault of overcrowding and lack of real community values? What if only certain types of people were allowed to live in certain places? Would the world be better or worse? These people could create communities and have friends that turn into family and all will get along. Granted some will still not hate each other over small stuff but still be fine. What if everyone just left everyone alone? would we be able to survive that way? As a very large communities just simply help those in need. would people stave or would we thrive? What if money wasn’t a thing? What if everyone did simply because they were asked? What if?